Our Personal Space…and Jesus
John 20:19-31
Do you know the parameters of your personal space? This is not a loaded question. Each of us has a personal space. In 1966, Edward T. Hall, developed the idea of proxemics. Each person has a space around him or her that they consider their territory. When someone gets inside your personal space, it makes you feel uncomfortable. We all know people who get very close when they have a conversation, and people who may stand so far away you almost have to shout to communicate with them. That’s personal space.
It would be nice if we could say everyone’s personal space is a certain distance but that’s not true. A few years ago, there was a famous Seinfeld episode the focused on close-talkers. The characters in the show were disgusted because someone was a “close talker.” This person was inside their personal space. If you live in a city, your personal space is probably going to be a lot less than someone who lives in a rural area. Having said all that, it seems that someone’s personal space is about 24 ½ inches.[1]
Several years ago, I recall a conversation I was having with a stranger. This person was a close talker. I didn’t realize it until halfway through the conversation but I noticed that we had moved about 15 feet from where we started the conversation. Unconsciously I guess, I kept moving away from this person and they kept moving closer. Once I realized what was happening, and since I knew I’d probably never see this person again, I started playing a little game. This person was determined to keep me engaged in the conversation so it made it easy to basically lead them around the room. I would move a certain direction, they would move with me to keep their personal space distance in tact. It was almost as if we were dancing.
Now, I’m not recommending you do this but next time you’re in conversation take note of the personal space you maintain in your conversation. How does it change depending on how well you know the person?
Some of you have anticipated the question I’m going to ask next: Do you have a personal space with Jesus? Do you like to keep Jesus at a certain distance? Does he seem too far away? Does he ever get too close for comfort…as in some preacher is trying to invite, pull, or push you closer to Jesus than you’re comfortable? Or maybe Jesus himself seems to be a bit of a close talker?
I’ve wondered about this personal space idea as I’ve studied this passage at the end of John. There are a number of things in this text that seem to be extreme violations of personal space.
It is now evening on resurrection day. Mary Magdalene has told the disciples she has seen Jesus.[2] In the very next verse in John, it says the disciples have locked themselves away.[3] Now John’s gospel says it was because the disciples were afraid of the Jews, and they certainly had reason to be afraid of the Jewish leaders because the Jews could easily have decided to pursue and purge all the followers of Jesus, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to it than that. When the disciples heard that Jesus was alive and walking around, they had every reason to be afraid…of him! The disciples had seen Jesus do a lot of whacky and unpredictable things over the past three years and now a crucified Christ was on the loose and liable to do almost anything! Was Jesus out for revenge? The disciples knew Jesus was gracious and forgiving but had they, the disciples, gone too far when they abandoned him and ran after he was arrested? The text says that the doors were locked because the disciples were afraid of the Jews but I can’t help but wonder if they were just as afraid of Jesus.
Before John’s gospel gives us a chance to catch our breath, the text tells us that Jesus came and stood among them.[4] Do any of you just barge into someone else’s home without knocking or asking first? Most of us don’t. It’s a violation of personal space. Most of us seek permission before we go inside. Jesus goes right in like he owns the place.
Next, Jesus says, “Peace be with you.”[5] As I think about it, it would make more sense if Jesus would have said, “Where were you guys when I needed you?” or “What a bunch of losers you are,” but that’s not Jesus. He says, “Peace be with you.”
Jesus says “Peace be with you” again[6] and then he does something I haven’t paid much attention to before, he breathes on them. Do any of you go around intentionally breathing on people? As germophobic as we’ve become in our culture, it’s almost a finable offense to purposely breathe on someone. Yet, this is what Jesus does. We always explain this away as a Holy Spirit thing but do you think any of the disciples were thinking, “Please Jesus! Cover your mouth!”
The last cultural no-no Jesus commits is with Thomas. When Thomas doubts, Jesus lifts up his shirt and says, “Hey, put your finger her where I got stabbed.” Now, I’ve heard the saying, “Chicks dig scars” but as far as I know, there weren’t any women around Jesus was trying to impress so what’s going on here?
This whole story is about the violation of space. Jesus violates physical laws by simply walking into a locked room. Jesus violates natural laws by being raised form the dead. And Jesus also violates personal laws by getting so close to the disciples that I wonder if they thought, “Back off a little Jesus. This is getting a little too close for me.”
I asked you earlier if you ever felt Jesus violated your personal space? Does he ever get too close? A little too demanding? A little too personal? A little too nosy? A little too radical? A little too counter-cultural? A little too embarrassing?
Thomas says toward the end of our text today in response to Jesus, “My Lord and my God.” This is one of the highest Christological moments in the gospels.[7] In these five words Thomas affirms everything Jesus proclaimed and vowed to pursue a life of discipleship. If we want to be followers of Jesus, then we must surrender all of our personal space to him.
So, in what area of your life do you need to say to Jesus, “It’s OK for you to come in here”? What personal space do you have where you just as soon he stay out? Your marriage? Your finances? Your habits? Your friendships? Your recreation? Your faith? The call in this text is to both confess and profess. Who needs to do business with God today?
Amen.